Less Than 'Forever'
by ManhattanWitch
Summary: When one half of your heart, soul and mind disappears, how do you cope? From George’s point of view. Mentions of suicide, character death, and all angst and hurt. NOT NOT NOT TWINCEST! No offense, but as a twin, that's disgusting.


Title: Less Than 'Forever'

Summary: When one half of your heart, soul and mind disappears, how do you cope? From George's point of view

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of suicide

Disclaimer: None of it is mine; however, J.K. has given us permission to play with her characters, and that is just what I have done.

Rating: M for cursing

Author's Note: I have very definite views on twins, being as I am one myself, and this is not just some _thing _I've written- this is how I would feel should anything happen to my twin. This is not a writing exercise, but a true expression. Review or not, as you please, but if you flame this, my reply will be less than kind, and wholly volatile in nature.

* * *

There had always been the possibility, he'd known. It had just never seemed real. How could it happen? What malicious god or demon had decided that it was his lot in life to survive, missing his better half, his best friend and worst enemy? His co-conspirator and fellow prankster? There was no reason for it, and yet it had happened. A fluke, a mistake, a _Merlin-cursed, bloody fuck up!_

How could anyone even begin to understand the pain he was going through, with all their worthless platitudes and pitying looks? Never again would he be able to turn to his brother to share a joke, or news of a successful product launch. Never again would they get into blazing rows about absolutely nothing. Never again would they sit together in their shop and enjoy the pleasure on people's faces.

Never.

Such a harsh word, that. _Never._ It implied a finality that could not be overcome, a moment that could not happen again, could not be fixed.

This aching, ragged hole in his soul would _never_ heal, the instinct to turn to Fred would _never _fade. They would _never_ prank someone again, because only one of them was here!

No one could see why he couldn't move on, why he was trapped in a pit of his own making. There was no life for him to lead, no hope for a better tomorrow, when there was no one to share it with. He and Fred had shared everything, from mother's milk, to rooms, to ideas and stores.

And now, now there was no one for him to turn to, no one who understood the broken nerve his life had become. Even the sight of the Patil twins was enough to throw him into a rage or depression- _they_ were whole, _they _didn't have to deal with this black emptiness every single day for the rest of his life. _They _would never feel the black despair he could never learn to cope with. Every. Single. Day. They would never know how bleak his existence had become.

A life that was his alone, now.

A life where he would never hear Fred's laughter, where he could never see the jealous gleam in his eyes after he'd come up with a prank.

Merciless gods be _damned!_ He would never have the life he was meant to lead. For the remainder of his days, he would be a half-person, not fully alive, not fully dead. A corporeal ghost, a spectral wizard.

And here's the rub- he couldn't imagine any of those days. When he tried, all he saw was a blank, where every laugh would die, every dream would crumble, every relationship wither, because he couldn't share it.

And it was killing him.

He wouldn't, couldn't kill himself. Fred would hav- would have _had _a fit. He couldn't fully live, because he didn't know how. How does one move, when restricted to one arm, one leg, one eye, when one used to have two of _both?_ It was possible, surely, but you never stopped yearning for those missing bits.

And forget about the physical analogies. Fred was the missing half of his own soul, his imagination, his mind, his magic. Together, they had been able to create marvelous candies and spells, had used their combined talent to get a result better than they could have achieved on their own.

Now. He was alone, and knew, just _knew,_ that he could never be equal to what they once were. Now he was less, and no matter what anyone might say, that would always be the case.

They had been brilliant lights shining in the dark sky of a war torn world, but now, he was less than despicable.

It was impossible for him to believe otherwise, for here's the irony- how could he have survived when his brother had not?

It was the greatest treachery imaginable.

… … …

Thanks for reading.

MannyWitch


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